Good enough?

Stuck in the loop of perfectionism, procrastination, and avoidance.

8/3/22

I can’t help but wonder what my life would have been like, up to this point, if I didn’t have the unwanted trait of perfectionism. The things I would have accomplished… the people I would have met… the risks I would have taken… It’s occurred to me recently that everyone who has done anything of significance has sat before their body of work, at some point, and thought it was complete and utter garbage. That it was not worth the paper it was written on or the time that was spent creating it. Yet, it is a feeling they have been able to overcome.

I remember hearing a story of how a 25-year old Bruce Springsteen, upon first hearing a completed album of his, took the vinyl and smashed it to pieces in disgust. He believed that the product he had been working so hard to get right was anything but that, so he destroyed it as if it was worthless. Promised he would never release it, despite doing so shortly after. Well we all know what happened to Mr. Springsteen after this album hit the radio waves. . . he faded into obscurity and no-one ever heard a single note from him again.

Actually, that album was called Born to Run, and it became the record that gave ole Bruce the moniker “The Boss” that we all know know him by today. What some consider his best work, he thought it not deserve a single listen. He was embarrassed by it, despite having poured his heart and soul into its creation. Born to Run contained the music that gave Bruce Springsteen a massive career that continues to this day.

Despite this incredible story of triumph over personal doubt, I still struggle immensely with the thought that everything I make lacks what it takes to be great. I can’t seem to get my mind around the idea that good is good enough, and perhaps another set of eyes or ears will respond to what I produce in a better way than I ever could. The few who have heard my songs and seen my artworks usually tell me that it’s great, but in my head I hear that as just being nice and supportive as opposed to the truth. This mental deformity has plagued me for as long as I can remember.

I just started reading a book called “How to be an Imperfectionist” by Stephen Guise that i’m hoping will help me get past this mental block and start diving head first into more creative projects. But having read my fair share of self-help books, i’m skeptical on whether it’s going to work or not. I guess just another thing i’m going to have to get past.

BHM